Have you ever sat for a conversation with your teenager, and minutes after his laughing body, his endless blurring, his empty looks, and his horrific responses, found yourself frustrated and angry, and at the end of the day you started screaming.
Adolescents are known to be not good in communicating with their parents, and men have never been professional in emotional communication at the general level.Therefore, it is not surprising that trying to speak with a teenage boy can be a great challenge at the very least.
Contradictory
Preston Ni, author of the book "How to Effective Communication and Dealing with Tough Teenagers", says in an article on the "PsychologyTOYTOY" psychology, that adolescents are a unique and contradictory strain often "they are struggling to exclusively and yearn to accept their peers.They act as if they know everything, yet they lack a lot of experience.They feel that they are not invincible, however they are often unsafe..
Book author, Deby Pinkos, in an article on the Empoweringparents website, presented five secrets and found it useful to communicate with teenagers, which is to try to understand even if you do not completely agree on what he wants, try to focus only on your job as a parent and provide help and do not judge him,Do not ask him questions that you put in a defensive position, make your goal to help your child think of himself, and finally do not do anything until he is both calm.
Rescue
The author Wayne Parker says - in an article on his "Verywellfamily" website - that the relationship between the father and the son may be more complicated if they have different interests and inclinations at a wide level, usually the father expects his son to walk in the same path and do the same.The tasks are practiced with hobbies, but this rarely happens, and in this case it is necessary to search for a common thing to do, such as hunting, reading or camping, this will save the relationship and support it.
Also, it is necessary to listen to the children, and Parker says that "men in general suffer from a lack of effective communication.They listen for a minute or two only before they decide what the problem is and then start offering solutions, but the children from an early age until the adolescence need someone to listen to them without a judgment or try to provide solutions..
Parker also advises parents not to avoid important conversations with their children, such as talking about sex, he says that "with the continuous increase in dealing with these matters in the media, the Internet and friends of friends, you will find that your relationship is not as strong as it can be if you avoid talking about these difficult topics.".
A successful parental conversation
Gregory offers to.Gantz, who holds a doctorate, and an expert in depression, anxiety and technology addiction -in an article on the psychological site of the Todai -ten tips for a parental conversation with your teenage son.
1- Give him a previous notice, tell him in advance the timing and the topic you want to discuss with him.This will give him the time needed to think about the imminent conversation and collect any ideas that he may have.
2- Give him something to eat, there is a basic relationship between hunger and speed of anger or intolerance, so making sure of the stability of the level of sugar in his blood will keep it focused and participant throughout your conversation.
3- Abandoning the idea of giving a lecture, intensify your conversation in a short list of important points, and allow him to respond to these points.
4- Control of your feelings, although you may be frustrated and angry, the screaming and verbal violations will not lead to the results you want, so the boy's sword is that you attack him and this will make him flee or excuse.
5- Pay attention to the language of your body and the looks of your eyes, adolescents do not prefer visual communication with their parents directly, and your son may understand your staring in his eyes as a worrying and aggressive matter.
6- Use material examples, do not talk about the fact that he never hangs his clothes.Instead wander around the room and make him pick up his scattered clothes here and there, and determines whether they are clean or dirty.This will help him remember your conversation later.
7- Set aside time to follow up. Children can take hours, days, and even weeks to follow what was agreed upon in an important conversation between the two of you.If you do not find the response that you were contemplating, give your son alert it to what was agreed upon between you, before you set a new meeting with him.
8- Walking during the conversation, the children in general think better when they are in a state of movement and activity, forcing your son to sit while reprimanding him with a long lecture is a recipe for a real disaster.Try to take it abroad, or walk the house while discussing the problem raised.
9- Focusing on the positives, exhausted surrounded by negative messages about them all the time, just watching commercials on TV will generate a feeling of deficiency..We parents need to provide positive support and celebrate the achievements of our children, as this will help build trust relationships and overcome this continuous barrage of the negativity they face daily.
10- To focus on spirituality an important role, help your son understand the deeper meaning of life.And looking at things completely, harmonious with nature, with God and with the soul, this will help him to bear hardship, excellence and success.